It's the Little Things

So this past week has been one of the longest I can remember! FKO is still proving to be a bit of a challenge with soo many kids at one time. And my nannying job bumped up a notch this week with having to come back at 5 everyday for about 3 weeks. But throughout this most chaotic week there have been small things here and there that lift me up; just little things that make me smile!! Sooooo.... I thought id tell you about them!!

1. After a rough week with the girls I nanny for, they both still come up on Friday when I'm done for the week and give me the biggest hugs!

2. Although i was aware that my nephew could say my name I rarely heard him say it. Then Friday I get a voice mail and there is my nephew saying my name, telling me he loves me and giving me kisses. Words cant describe-- I'm sure most of you understand what I'm talking about!

3. Again, I have been gone alot this week; away from my kitten! And i do feel so awful when she gives me the most pitiful look as I walk out the door. However, when I come home between 2:30-3 and lay down for a short nap before my second shift, she comes in my room, crawls under the sheet and sleeps snuggled up beside my leg. She stays there until I get up and then proceeds to be very vocal about her dislike of my departure again. She's definitely a momma's girl... YAY!!

4. I ordered Chilis on Friday and when I brought it home I realized they gave me a 2nd order of Country Fried Chicken Crispers but didn't charge me for it. Now I know some might say, "Seriously, this makes you happy?" But honestly, how many of you don't get excited when they accidentally give you an extra burrito/taco or something! Its like Food Christmas or something!! lol

5. I went to Abilene Educational Supply on Wednesday! Mind you, I have never been there before. And I realized I probably shouldn't have ever gone there. I'm pretty sure I spent a majority of the time with my mouth open just starring! I could spend a fortune at that store. But what pleasantly surprised me was that I found a ton of cute things to go with the Pond theme I am going for in my FKO room! Cute frogs and dragonflies-- i was literally giddy! Its been a while since I have been giddy!

6. Ive never been one to have a ton of friends. I usually have 2-3 really really good friends then some acquaintances. When I was away at college I went through soo many roommates coming and going that I started to think I would never really connect with any of them! And then Tara came along. And while any friendship has its rough spots, we weathered through! I got word this week that she is going to make it down the weekend of the 4th! I'm so excited! I went back to S-Ville in April, and while i was sooo excited to hang out again I ended up getting sick and it sort of put a damper on the weekend! So now we get to try again and its on my turf so I cant wait to show her around (not that there is much to show lol).

So those are just a few things that; while this past week was hell; I was able to see a light!! I truly love the little things!! I just finished putting sheets on my new bed (Its about time!! ) and cleaning the necessary parts of the bathroom in order to put up the new shower caddy, shower curtain, and bathroom carpet! Lots of changes in the Scott household! For the better, of course!!

On a totally random note: Ive heard some music and seen a few movies recently I thought I would pass along:
#1: I always liked Coldplay, but I wasn't a die hard fan. They had a few songs I liked but not much more. I bought their new album Viva la Vida. OMG I loved it! It was different from what I have been listening to and it just blew me away! Check it out!!
#2: Ive been a huge fan of One Republic, since before they hit big! You must listen to their album "Dreaming Out Loud." I love when a man sings but when a group of men sing, and sounds phenomenal its even better! Their songs are deep and meaningful. I actually used one of them, Come Home, in a little home video thing I made of our late cat Winston! Makes me cry every time!
#3: I went to go see Nanny McPhee 2 weeks ago with the girls at the Movie Camp thing they are having at the Century Theater! I had never seen it and never had a huge desire to. But man, that was a great movie. It was a clean movie that taught morals better then I have seen a movie do in a long time. Very pleasantly surprised. If you haven't seen it-- go rent it! It will be worth it!
#4: I also recently watched The Other Boleyn Girl! Apparently this movie is based on some facts; facts I was quite unaware of. Now while I am not a huge history buff I found it fascinating. This about the sisters, and their brother-- man it kind of shocked me and made the movie that much better! See it!!

Alright I think I'm done for the day! I have no idea what I will do next today! I have several options! Who knows lol! Anyway, everyone enjoy their weekend! Oh, and Happy early birthday to Allen Wooten! He turns 23 on Wednesday! Man I first met him when he was 16! I feel old now! DAMN!!

Just checkin in!

So I can already tell you that this blog will not be very long. The past week has been the busiest one since I can remember. And of course there will always be a part of me that will whine and complain that I'm tired (I'm always tired lol), but the cash flow is worth it. Bills Bills BILLS right! Finally the stimulus checks came in today! And since I had already gone to the IRS website and used their little calculator to figure out how much I was getting, I was not surprised to see less then I had hoped. But at least I got any at all right?!



FKO started back up for the summer this week. Mind you this is the first summer I have worked for FKO! Last year at this time I was still a sort of floater so my presence wasn't required. Well I was in for a shock! I knew I had 9 kids enrolled in my class but not the slightest bit of mental preparation could prepare me for the perfect storm that was FKO on Thursday! 7 of my kids showed up and Shannon, the women who teaches the 4 &5 year olds had 7-8 ( I honestly cant remember.. I'm sitting here at this very moment trying to remember the names of all the kids I had.) Anyway, the only reason why it was a whirlwind for me is because I am usually used to 6 kids.......AT THE MOST!! So yea, it was definitely an experience!



I took Sophie to the vet on Thursday for her spaying/declawing! I know she knew something was up the night before because of the cats where just crazy. Plus Sophie couldn't eat after 8 so that didn't help things! Thursday morning was heart wrenching! As I left her on the counter at the vet, I looked back and shes looking at me, head cocked, and giving me a look like HEY, WHERE ARE YOU GOING? It was.....awful! But I was at the vet's office Friday morning before 10 (which the instructions said I could pick her up anytime AFTER 10) and I got her the hell out of there. She, nor Alex, will EVER EVER EVER go back to that vet-- too many bad memories for me as well as mom and our current kitties, the staff is 50/50 on whether you will catch them in a good mood-- and the vets are below par for me.... there is such a thing as BED SIDE MANNER for God's sake. Anyway, i really would like to just forget about that place... so I will work on that whole heartedly! Anyway, Sophie is recovering nicely-- the scar on her tummy looks painful but she seems to be back to her old self. One thing that has changed is she is very very clingy to me. I get a looked of deep sadness when I have to leave and sleeps on my bed or under the sheet attached to my foot. I can hold her forever it seems and she will sleep in my arms! I never want to have to leave her like that again! Oh, a funny thing though-- i found out that Sophie's skin is SPOTTED!! Like a dalmation! Pink skin with black dots! Its crazy! I LOVE IT!!



So to leave off I'm going to post a video I took of Sophie and her new found love for TV! It really was too cute for me not to share! As for me, I'm sure there will be many more weeks like this to come. Lets hope I can cope! Goodnight!

They Grow Up So Fast

So FKO finished up its school year on the 22nd of May. And though I thought I had prepared myself for this day, I ended up balling like a baby. Like I have said before, many of the kids I had this year I had had for 2 years, so I got to watch them grow up. Now, 3 of them were moving up to the next class and I just couldnt bear to let them go. Kate, Jacob, and Brooklyn will soon be Grasshoppers (Thats the 4-5yr. olds class) and won't be Dragonflies (my class) and so everytime i looked at them on that last day i kept tearing up. Needless to say it was a hectic day all around- it was Water Day so it was playing in kiddy pools and sprinklers-- but when it came time for nap time I didnt even care if they slept or laid down-- the 4 that stayed awake (Brooklyn, Jacob, Kate and Reagan) all moved their mats into a circle and talked and laughed. And of course seeing that made me cry to. And although I know that I will be getting new kids this summer-- there is still a selfish part of me that wishs and hopes those 3 will still run to me first thing when they get to school-- or come to me when they fall down or something-- and while I know that that really shouldnt happen because Shannon is their teacher now-- They will still be MY kiddos!!

(From Left to right: TOP: Kate, Brooklyn; BOTTOM: Jacob, Kylee, Reagan, and Madison)

On a similar note, Maddy, one of the girls I nanny for, just finished up her first year of school. I got to go pick her up on Friday and I felt like I was in a daze the entire time. It was soo hard for me to comprehend that I had been watching her and her sister for a full year already. They really do grow up way to fast. When I first started watching the girls they were quite timid around me. But funny enough, it only took them a couple weeks before it was, "April, lets play zoo! April, lets play Little People! April, can we play this, etc....."

As should be expected, the more I was with them the more they tested the boundaries as to what they could get away with. But I loved how when it came time to leave they never wanted me to, and always wanted to know when I was coming back. So Maddy started school in September and it became just Brooklyn and I most of the time. We got to grow closer and got into a routine, so when the rare occasion came that I watched both of them Brooklyn would wonder why she didnt get me all to herself. It was actually an adjustment for me as well. Brooklyn is very much the independent little girl, she usually played by herself and rarely asked me to play with her. But when her sister was home everything she did she wanted me involved!

(One of the things the girls love for me to do is take pictures of them with my cell phone. They actually posed for this picture and it took several tries because Maddy kept on saying she looked weird in them lol! Maddy also like to grab my cell phone and make her own movies of her running around going crazy and then sit back and watch them. Its out little thing!)

But as time went on this year Maddy started to grow up. Thats pretty much the only way I can describe it. She made it seem as though it wasn't as cool to have me over as it was when I first started. She always said she couldnt remember what she did in school that day and never really wanted to talk about it. So I started to re-learn my place with her and give her space accordingly. Then, the last week of school came, and everytime I was over there she came home and wanted to show me what she had done all year in school; she made me look at every piece of arts and crafts and made sure i didnt miss anything! I had gotten my Maddy back! So to sum up; between Brooklyn moving up a class and Maddy graduating Kindergarten-- I have been an emotional mess! I have grown attached-- and for a while I didnt think that was a good thing-- But i wouldnt have it any other way now! I was a little worried about this summer and finding enough to do with the girls to keep them occupied-- but i'm looking forward to it now! They are doing this summer kids movie thing at the Century theater (the nice theater in town) to where there is a different movie playing every Tuesday and we have tickets for all the showings so movies on Tuesdays will be my thing with the girls and i cant tell you how much I love that!! So I'll leave you with 2 pictures of the girls all grown up-- these are pictures of them after having watched them for a year-- the change is astounding! Till next time.... hooray for attachement!!

Sophie & Alex

Warning: Contains TONS of Pictures!!

So yesterday we introduced 2 new members into the Scott household, Sophie & Alex! Both of them are around 9 weeks old but Sophie appears to have been the runt of the litter-- weighing in at almost 2 1/2 pounds, where her brother is a hearty 4.8!! So I figured I would break this blog down into sections and go from there!!

Sophie:

Sophie was, and still sort of is, the shy one. She really is a tiny little thing and her brother has recognized his advantage over her. On the way home she didn't say a peep-- just hung out in the back and shook a little.

(Now we found these kittens a week ago and put a deposit down to make sure they were ours. This is Sophie when we first met her!)

Since Sophie is sooo small she has not been spayed or declawed yet. The people at the Taylor-Jones Humane Society said that ones she gets home and starts running around she will gain weight and hopefully within the next week she will have gained the weight needed to take care of all that. But...until then..... she is definitely enjoying her claws. Not only does she use them to climb up on my bed (which I can guarantee you she wont be able to do without the claws) but she also uses it as pretty much her only defense against her brother!!

The first day Sophie was here she was very very skiddish! If I took just one step toward her, she ran. And while I knew I had to give her time, I was becoming worried and sad because Winston and I had such an instant connection and I wanted that with Sophie. Oh, side note, while technically both cats belong to both mom and I, Sophie is "mine" and Alex is "mom's". She eventually warmed up to me around 8 or so last night. She came right out of my closet and almost rubbed the skin off of my leg. It was then that I knew we would make a fabulous team. The whole family has been keeping 2 sharp eyes on her to make sure she is eating and drinking (especially dad, he's been very concerned about Sophie drinking-- hes asked like 5 times already lol). We made sure that the first thing the kitties saw was the litter box, and Alex took right to it. But Sophie wanted nothing to do with it. So last night I left my door cracked enough for her to get out and then some-- but she decided to pee buckets on my bed instead-- while she sat there and looked right at me lol!! So I'm trying to watch her today and make sure she pees in the box. So following are some pictures of Miss Sophie!!

First Day:

This Morning:

As for Alex.... well I will leave his beginnings with us to my mom. So check her blog later for the story on him!

So what a week it has been and its only Wednesday! And on top of that-- this has to be a record that I posted 3 blogs in 1 month! Crazy!! Anyway, I'm going to get dressed and head to the vet before work! So I hope everyone has a great week!

What I was doing ten years ago:

At this very time 10 years ago I was about to finish up my first year of high school! OMG thats crazy! My sister was about to graduate, and while it was going to be weird not having her at school with me I was kind of excited to be out of her shadow and be the only person from the Scott family in that school! Diana was a very well liked student so it was intimidating to follow in her footsteps (LOVE YOU DIANA!)

5 Things on my To-Do List today:

1. Pick up things off my floor so my dad can spray my room
2. Go to my nanny job at 10:30
3. Come home and try to clear some tape
4. Go to my 2nd babysitting job at 6 till about 10:30
5. Clean Daniel's (my fishy) bowl

5 Places I have traveled:

1 .England (Dont know if I would consider that traveling-- I was born there)
2. Florida (Dont remember that one either-- but I dont go many places)
3. Hawaii (Dear God please let me go back someday)
4. Mexico (Ok it was an accident-- some friends and I crossed the border when we went to a barbeque place after a football game-- we were just walking and trying to scare each other but then we hear shouting in spanish and flashlights bouncing back and forth and we took off-- we weren't the only ones to have that adventure that night!)
5. Colorado

5 Snacks or Treats I enjoy:

1. Cheese Dip (mmmmmmm)
2. My new favorite chocolate cake with vanilla frosting
3. Mashed potatoes (major comfort food for me)
4. Hershey Kisses or Hugs
5. Mocha Carmel Cafe from Starbucks ( i didnt realize how much of a needed boost it gives me until I start to come down from the high lol)

What would I do if I were a Billionaire?

BILLS BILLS BILLS!! Those would be paid off for sure! Buy a car (Toyota preferably), Find a quaint little place to call my own, purchase 2-3 pets, pay back anybody I owe money to. As of right now thats all I can think of. Im a compulsive online shopper so who knows how long that money would last lol!

Places I've Lived:

1. Upper Hayford AFB, Upper Hayford, England
2. Eglin AFB (Niceville, FL) (Dont remember it but Diana swears that some of the memories I have are from there)
3. Dyess AFB (Abilene, TX)
4. S. 41st St. Abilene, TX
5. Arrowhead Dr. Abilene, TX
6. Willis St. Abilene, TX

Jobs I've had:

1. Concession stand worker at the theater in the Mall of Abilene (lasted a single day lol)
2. Contract Laborer for an asset management company
3. Babysitter, Babysitter, Babysitter/Nanny
4. Child care worker

5 People I'm Tagging:

The only people who I would tagged have already been tagged so I guess I will tag mom since I dont think she got that she was the random commentator!!

Impasse

I am at a fork in the road, a stalemate, and impasse. Lots of things are running through my head so my blog will be the place where it is released. Brace yourself!

Have you ever had one of those moments where you wish you could stand out in the middle of a street and just scream till you can’t anymore? I'm having a situation, and for the sake anonymity I will only tell the situation—and no names. For years I have kept my mouth shut about a certain situation; #1 because I feel it would be useless and lead to know where if it was brought up, and #2 because confrontation is as enjoyable to me as sitting through a Trigonometry class. And really I can’t blame anyone but myself for letting it go one because I haven’t had to guts to confront it. But that’s who I am. I reached the breaking point today and all of a sudden thought, “What the hell I should just say everything I'm thinking even though by doing so I could loose it all.” Would that really be so wrong if by doing it I may finally find me; find APRIL! I feel like I have sort of been a shell of me, going through the routines of this situation and at times questioning it all. There are times where I wish I could go back to a “convenient solitude.” Where I could go back to a place and time with the people of my choosing who are how they used to be when things were the best and just stay there. I realize that by having people there it wouldn’t really be solitude, but it’s the only way I think I could describe what I'm thinking.

Winston has been gone over a month now and I still see him running in the halls or feel his cold nose on my foot. It may sound completely silly but I really couldn’t care less at the moment. Its strange how something like the loss of a dearly loved pet (and I know its not a whole lot like loosing a relative or loved one) can make you take a step back and evaluate your life—who you are—who you wish you could be. There are a few things I realized. For one, I am 25 and living at home---- and I am truly HAPPY. I would love to know what is seriously so wrong with living at home, even at my age, if I am truly happy. What the hell does it matter? Could it be that I may not find a guy. Yes, I'm 25, yes I’ve never had a serious relationship, and yes there are times when I am lonely. But it’s meant to happen it will. I am not some poor woman all alone and sad. I AM HAPPY! If I needed the attention of a man so badly I could go out and become a whore. But that need has never there. It may be that I am meant to spend my life alone, and if that is what is planned for me then I will embrace it. But I guess I am just tired of feeling like I less accomplished, less of a person because I live with my parents and not on my own. I pay my own bills; I work 2 jobs, in no way do I slack off. If I felt for one minute that I was being a burden to my family by living with them you would bet that I would be out there looking for a 3rd or 4th job and trying to get out. I…. AM…… HAPPY! Do you know how longs its been since I could truly say that. Now while I am prone to have moments of puzzling situations as mentioned in the above paragraph, I would gladly take that and be happy then go back to have the awful temper I used to, and getting sick every month because of stress and pure ( and I mean straightforward, scary) rage.

I guess in a nut shell I just want everyone to quit worrying or concerning themselves about whether I am happy or doing the right thing and whether it’s best for me. And this is going out to absolutely no one in particular. I know that family and friends will want to look out for me; and I am blessed that care is present, but I just want to be ME, and have no questions or concerns about it. That may come off rude—and I am sorry for that—but I just need some support. I'm going to take control, and that’s a scary thing for me. But I have faith it can happen. I hope you can have faith in me too. But I have to do it my way—or I will fail before I can even begin.

I have started my journey by getting this off my chest. Good luck to all of you—just be who you are—I don’t feel you can ever be ashamed of yourself if you’re honest with who you are. You may not like it—but at least you’re not lying to yourself. Honesty is a hard thing—it takes courage. That will be a stop on my journey.

Anyway, I think I'm about done. Sorry for randomness. But it feels good to get it out.

Until next time!!

*April*

In Memory of Sir Winston

About 10 years ago my family was still living in apts. And my mom and I had hinted to my dad and sister that we wanted a cat. Of course we never thought it would actually happen but it was wishful thinking. But the Christmas of 1998 my dad and sister surprised my mom and I with the money to go buy a cat. Out first stop was the Humane Society. We both had in our heads that we were looking for a little kitten. I walked to the back—and a furry little gray tabby caught my attention. He was a little older then we were looking for, and there was a smaller kitten there but hadn’t been fixed or declawed yet. We told them we would come back and decided to go to the pound to see what they had. I'm pretty sure we were only in there maybe 5-10 minutes. That place was soooo depressing it broke my hear to be in there. So we went back to the Humane Society, and Winston became the newest member of our family. I remember thinking that I was really going to have to get used to his name. And I was a little confused because we were told that Winston came to be at the Humane Society because a little old lady said he was too frisky. In the entire time we had Winston I only recall a handful of times where I would have defined him as frisky. But nonetheless he fit right into our family.
















In the beginning he was in an exploratory phase—always testing the boundaries and seeing just how high he could get. And though my mom always feels bad about it—she did think about possibly taking him back. The thing I remember most about this time was that my sister was in her first year of college so I never saw her a whole lot and we seemed to always be up and down. But when there was the possibility that Winston would be returned she supported me as we told mom that we just couldn’t let him go and to give it a little more time. As mom and I look back on it now—it wasn’t so much that we didn’t want him or didn’t think we could handle him, it was more of the fact that we weren’t prepared for a kitten. So we used scotch tape to tape off shelves he wasn’t allowed on and had to watch the kitchen counters for stray tufts of fur!!



Winston had his favorite spots in the apt.: on top of the couch, under the recliner (we always had to watch that because he would sneak under there and then we would close it and hours later go looking for him!), on top of the bookshelves (at this height he felt invincible and would bat our head with his paws), and laundry baskets. So life continued as though we had had Winston forever!


Winston wasn’t always a huge player. We had a toy that we would use that he would chase and he would do that but other then that he found his own things to call toys. I liked to put scraps of fabric on him to make him look like he was SUPER CAT! And Josh, my brother in law (or was it my sister? Cant remember) tied a balloon to his tail and he FREAKED OUT on that one! But he would mostly just lay around and perfect the lazy cat stereotype.

Eventually we moved into a house. It was a traumatic time for him.. he hid behind the toilet in the bathroom even though I was in there keeping him company. He never felt the same about that bathroom again. But he eventually came around and became the leader, nay THE RULER of this house. You may wonder, “Did you mind that you always catered to him… that he ruled the roost?” Of course not, because even though he depended on mom and I for food and cleaning of certain waste disposal areas and demanded attention on his time…. I always knew that if I was sad or sick that he would come running in my room and stay with me whether I wanted him to or not. Soon certain schedules were formed, and habits arose. He would always be waiting for me either in the hallway by my door or in the entryway of the kitchen when I got home. I never knew how he knew I was home ( I guess its that super cat hearing, but then again mom said he would be there like ½ hour before I got home). He nearly always read the paper with mom in the morning—well mom read the paper he laid on it and demanded her petting, Noon was lunch time and he would let us know if we were late—and these things continued for a majority of his life.

In the part few years certain changes came—Winston’s asthma seemed to increase, he got really dry skin so he started to pull his hair out everywhere (which increased his baths which he was never too fond of), he would take little bites at mom, etc. But we figured he was stressed for some reason or another and that the dry weather was wreaking havoc on his skin. But regardless of these changes he was still Winston.

Winston had a great sense about people. If I brought a person to the house and Winston didn’t like them… that person actually ended up being not such a great person. I always felt like he was looking out for me.

So onto the most recent events. I guess about a month ago I noticed weird things with Winston. He followed me around everywhere—I mean into the bathroom when I took a shower—everywhere. He was more clingy then usual. But I liked that he wanted my attention. Then, about 2 weeks ago mom and I started noticing that he wasn’t eating much. He used to inhale his wet cat food at lunch time but he was now leaving at least half on the plate. He wasn’t eating his dry cat food—even the dental diet balls which he would always eat above everything else. So we changed wet cat food and we changed dry cat food and he seemed to adapt well to that and things went back to normal. Or so we thought. We then started noticing that he was loosing weight. I was only recently that the vet told us that Winston was a big boned cat—he had a large frame—so he wasn’t necessarily fat just “big boned.” But we could feel every vertebra in his spine, every bone in his pelvis. Something was obviously up. So we made an appointment at the vet. Little side note—at this time Winston now never ever left either my side or my moms side—he slept with us and didn’t paw to get out of the rooms—and he seemed to favor the top of one of the cabinets in my mom’s room.

We took him vet on Monday and he was none to happy. The vet looked at him and said that he had lost weight (about 1 ½ lbs which felt like 10). She didn’t feel anything abnormal in his body so she took some blood for a full blood panel. The vet said that we probably wouldn’t find out until the next morning. So it became a waiting game….. but neither mom nor I would voice the gut feeling we had. So the Tuesday I left for work at 8:45 sort of pissed off because I was hoping we would hear from the vet before I left. I got to work and was distracted obviously. I had my cell phone close by and was waiting for the call. My boss, Brenda, who is also my best friends mom, came into the room and told me that my mom was on the phone, she had called the church I worked at instead of my cell. After that it is kid of fuzzy. She told me that everything on his blood panel came up critical and that it wasn’t good and I needed to come home. I sobbed uncontrollably the whole way home.. repeating NO NO NO NO. I came home and went straight to Winston. I just cried—that’s all I knew to do. I felt like he was looking at me like “Whats wrong?” He didn’t look in pain—he just looked tired. I stayed with him for the rest of the time. Mom called Diana and Dad and told them what was going on. The vet said that he didn’t even know how Winston was still walking—he should have been comatose. Diana and Dad both said that he was still being so strong because of Mom and I. I didn’t know if that made me feel better or worse. I love how he was fighting so hard to be strong for us but I also hated that he was putting himself in pain to be strong for us. The time came to take him for his last ride. And thinking about it makes me cry—its like he knew. He had been soooo quiet all day and when he got in the car he wouldn’t stop meowing—it made it so hard and I felt so bad. We got to the vets and went to the back and placed him on this cold metal table. The vet came and talked to us. To me he was cold and insincere. I could never be a vet because I would become attached to the animals. He really needed to work on his bedside manner. Final diagnosis seemed to be kidney cancer but that would be positive unless and autopsy was performed and well that just wasn’t happening. He shaves his arm and told us we would probably have to hold him down.. but Winston just layed down and became quiet. The vet administered the drug and Winston shrunk down. Of course mom and I were a mess. The vet didn’t warn us that Winston would have to expel the air out of his lungs. So he sort of gasped twice after we already thought he was gone. That made everything worse. We brought him back home and buried him by the Easter lilies that are growing back there. Dad asked us when we got home if it happened at 2:45? We couldn’t really remember but we knew it was sometime around there. He said that he was out back digging the grave and at 2:45 his heart started to race and he had to stop what he was doing.. he had a weird feeling. How weird is that. So we paid our respects and cried some more. That was 2 days ago.

I go out each morning and talk to him—just to keep him up to date on how the family is doing. I feel like it will help me get closure eventually. Mom and I still have our moments where we just cry. I still expect to see him waiting for me when I get home, and come bounding into the room and onto the bed when mom and I are chatting at night. Mom hasn’t been able to read the paper at the table because shes just not ready—and lunch times are hard for her because that was always a thing with her and Winston. So little by little we try to piece our lives back together. All of us, Mom, Dad, and I have noticed a serious drop in energy. We are tired all the time. This death has brought my family closer—and though I love that it has done that—I wish it was under different circumstances. So to all of you who got to meet Winston and see how special he was—he is now in a better place and I cant wait to see him again. I will always love my baby boy.

(This is the last picture taken of Sir Winston-- he will always be the most handsome cat)