Shut up and Drive!

Hello people! I write to you from my desk in my room with my music blaring! I am in an exceptionally good mood right now! Loud music always helps! ( screams) SUPERMASSIVE BLACK HOLE!!!!! So yea, that's the song I'm listening to at the moment! It gets me pumped! Cant help but move.... and smile..... and move!!! No shocker at all but its on the Twilight Soundtrack, which, to my surprise, was/is actually really good! Very diverse! I can get my screaming music, and my feel good music, and my slow down music, and my moving music in just 12 tracks! So I should move on to updates!!

So since last I wrote things have progressed with mom at a very even pace! She finally got to weigh herself today! But I will not divulge the answer until she chooses to share. Lets just say ITS BIG! All that's left now is for her to continue to worry about herself and not others around her, i.e. her mom! I have threatened many times to rip the phone from her hand and give her mom a piece of my mind and I wasn't kidding! I will do whatever needs to be done to keep the negativity to a minimum. I'm proud of her though. She's been tough. And gotten a whole lot better and standing up for herself. It amazing what you are capable of when you finally gain back a little confidence!

Home life has been a bit of a struggle. In some aspects the closeness that was forged when the accident happened has still continued. Unfortunately I feel its faded more so then not. I knew it couldn't be one big happy family forever. What family is, really. But I think the lack of job is setting me up to lose my patience, or have no patience at all. I guess that's a good lead in to the job front. I called Kelley Services last week and they said they would have a position for me near the first of April. It sounded very final, very definite, which was a load off. Then a new load presented itself. That left me a month's worth of bills to pay, and no way to pay them. Kelley had some temp jobs that were a day long... but those are all gone now. Ive put my application into other places from the paper and haven't heard anything. Sucks when they just give an email or fax number and no number to call and check up. By the time i finally get accepted anywhere I'm going to have to quit for BCBS. "When my time comes, forget the wrong that Ive done, help me leave behind some reasons to be missed. Don't resent me, and when you're feeling empty, keep my in your memories, and leave out all the rest." Sorry that's the song I'm on now-- good Linkin Park song! SINGING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS NOW!!! Anyway, back to where I was. So basically I'm screwed. And then there are those who like to go around behind my back, knowing full well I will find out that they said something, and, in so many words, call me a bum. This person, however, is not around to see what i am or am not doing with my day. Its typical, and nothing surprises me anymore. But for those of you out there I'll just get it out there: I'm doing everything I can to find a remedy to my problem this month! Whatever! THE SPOT LIGHT IS ON!!! (another good song..... do you see a pattern emerging in this blog? Random song quotes lol)

Moving on to brighter topics! Tara came to visit this weekend. BEST WEEKEND OF THE YEAR SO FAR!!! I had soooo much fun! I don't know how else to describe! Friday went to Chili's! Then drove around, with the windows down (well half down, it was FREEZING), the radio blaring, dancing, punching the air, singing as loud as we could..... just completely cut loose! I introduced T to the Twilight Soundtrack and found a fellow admirer! And it was perfect from then on! Talked about a whole bunch of stuff, but every time something got serious or complicated we just turned on Spotlight and danced it out!!

Saturday we had some errands to run! So we went to Wendy's first for a quick cheap lunch (Man their nuggets are good), then it was off to Walmart for some DVD-Rs (reason is not necessary to know :)) And some sunglasses since both of my other pairs passed away! Then it was off to Hobby Lobby (my first time in there since they took over the Hastings part......... it was.... alright lol! Nothing big lol). Tara had to get some flowers to put on her grandmother's grave! They have a great selection of faux flowers there. They even made me think about getting some to put out! So life-like its crazy!! As we drove between places I kept on telling Tara that I wish there was something else we could do! It was soo early in the day and I didn't want to go home! She suggested a game place or putt putt and then I remembered the new PRIMETIME place we got here in Abilene! I had always wanted to go, but didn't have anyone to go with and I was definitely not going to go alone!!

Ok, quick break, Rob Pattinson's song is on... She Never Thinks! You wouldn't imagine that singing voice coming from him! But its soooo good! And its not just because its Rob Pattinson! I love those acoustic guitar songs. It makes me smile. It makes me feel good! That's all that matters! And NO he doesn't sound like Bruce Springsteen! Not at all, T! LMAO! OOOOKKKK back to PRIMETIME! Ok so the one thing I will say about it is that we were completely confused when we went inside. We had no idea what to do! We thought about just going and playing some arcade games but they all required this certain card! So we went and got in line at the front desk, waiting, while others were looking at us like they thought we knew what we were doing lol! Once we got all that straightened out we decided to play some pool! So we went to the pool room-- put there were no cues or balls! So we realized we had to go back to the front desk to get this stuff! lol Back and forth back and forth!! We thought about riding the go karts or playing miniature golf, but it was very windy and chilly! So we figured we would go back when it got nicer and do the other stuff!! So anyway, we went and played pool! T got up some drinks in nifty bottles that we kept as souvenirs of our adventure together! I got pink and T got purple, of course!

T ended up winning 2 of the 3 games... by default though! Me and the 8-ball seemed to be loving each other! The other game I won for real... all my balls (stripes) then the 8! It was a miracle! Anyway, when we got done there we went to United to pick up a few things (esp. WINE) and then headed home. I made Southern Fried Chicken. We enjoyed a good meal (minus the awkward conversation that came about at the table for which I will not go into details but I can never apologize more to T for the circumstance and I've never been more embarrassed). After all the crap, T, myself, and my mom sat down at the table for several rousing rounds of Chicken Foot! Now T and I are lovers of the wine! We can usually each polish off a large bottle of Strawberry Arbor Mist! But for some reason we were both struggling this time. Maybe its because we started drinking as soon as we finished eating so we were still full from dinner. Anyway, it was a good time. T had to leave on Sunday to get back to reality, and it sucked, but I was drained. We made plans to go to Six Flags sometime this summer since we both hadn't been in a very long time, and I'm still holding out for decent priced Coldplay tickets for July 21st in Dallas. But right now they still only have lawn seats! But I will continue to check! I wont give up lol! So I'm looking forward to future trips and adventures with my friend! Who knows what the future holds!

On another note, this month the kitties turn the BIG 1!!! I still cant wrap my head around it! I doesn't seem like we've had them for that long! But I've watched them grow from fur balls that fit in the palm of my hand to big puffs of fur that require both hands to handle! They each have their little quirks! Alex like to jump on me, like he is playing tag! He always has to be the first to eat and the stretches as much as he can when he sleeps! He is the most photogenic and the camera loves him!

Sophie was always tiny! And i knew she would never be a huge cat, like Winston was! She's a princess and she knows it! Its a privilege when you get to be in her company! But she's a momma's girl! Sophie likes to come into the bathroom with me when I take a shower. He sits on the counter and waits patiently or comes and sits on the bath rub ledge between the shower curtain and shower liner. Its sort of like her own personal sauna! But when I'm done with my shower i HAVE TO pick her up and throw her over my shoulder. Only then am i allowed to leave the bathroom. This is welcomed with a very loud purr of contentment. Sophie always cares nothing of modesty! She prefers to be on her back, her legs spread as wide as possible! She loves her belly to be rubbed. Lately, since Ive been reading alot, she has taken to coming up on my bed, mid sentence and stare at the book, like she want to know what I'm reading! I tried reading aloud to her, and she would go to the end of my bed, curl up, and close her eyes, or she would rub her face in the book and try to chew it. I think she just doesn't want to compete with the book! She also prefers to sleep leaning against something! Like I said, they each have their little quirks!

On a similar subject, I think I might need to go ahead and address the other anniversary that is coming up at the beginning of April. April 1st to be exact. I thought maybe i should go ahead and talk about it because when it comes that time I know I wont want to discuss it much..... not that it ever gets any easier. That's another thing that is difficult to think about. April 1st with be a year since Winston passed away. His presence is still felt in this house. We ordered a grave marker for him and it came in yesterday. The inscription reads, "Our Special Boy, Winston July 1998 to April 2008."

It is going to be and has already proven to be a hard month! So much happiness has come from out two new additions, but sadness lingers as we remember when we were doing this time a year ago! Mom and I both agree that we cant help but feel extremely blessed and lucky that the right pet just seems to present itself to us! We were soo spoiled with Winston; he was such a well behaved boy. Of course he had is teenage rebellion, but as he grew up he was the epitome of a perfect cat. Now we are going through that phase with our new cats... and I keep flashing back to what it was like with Winston in the apartments. I know hes here when he thinks we're not strong enough to let go, or to just remind us that he'll never be fully gone. Maybe someday I will get to the point where I can think about him for a long period of time and not feel guilt or sadness. He's really meant to be celebrated!
So with that being said it will be a month of celebrating birthdays and those who have passed. Life isn't always easy! But its smart to try and learn from it, right? Well I'm thinking I will close with that! It weird, I'm finishing this blog and the last song on the soundtrack plays, Bella's Lullaby. It makes me cry every time, just because its beautiful (of course it doesn't hurt that Rob wrote and performed the song for the soundtrack. Just another facet of his abilities). Anyway, to get by I will just go to a happy place I have acquired! In my car, windows rolled down, light breeze, a never-emptying gas tank and my music as loud as it can go, with an open stretch of highway! What i wouldn't give to be there now! I can feel it already! Here I go.........

OH YOUR ONE OF US NOW!!!!! ( Spotlight, Twilight Soundtrack)