Here's to a Brand New Year, New Beginnings, New Everything!

So it has been a very long time since I updated. But I swear I have a good excuse. First, and foremost, I hope everyone had a great, relaxing holiday. I'm sure, for most of you, you will be going back to work on Monday. So take advantage of your last weekend and enjoy it. I cant remember what all I put in my last entry so I'm just going to wing it and hope that I don't repeat myself.

Work had been the same; stressful & hair-pulling. I was not enjoying myself or what I was doing. But I sucked it up and dealt with it. Again, if it hadn't been for Shannon, my co-worker at FKO, I probably would have lost it a long time ago. Of course, on the nanny front nothing had changed. Hours all over the place, guilt trips; the usual. But I just kept telling myself, PAYCHECK PAYCHECK PAYCHECK!! BILLS, BILLS, BILLS! The FKO Christmas Program was on the 14th and it turned out pretty good. Of course, parents love seeing their kids on stage no matter what they are doing, so even though the kids could hardly stand still and barely sung a note they were still adorable. The following Tuesday was the Christmas party. And that day went like pretty much every other holiday party, CRAZY!! But it was better then most years and I didn't feel like I was running in circles. I was a little disappointed that Jerry did not show up. In my past blogs, I have written about Jerry, the boy who had a bladder problem. Well it turns out the boy had a very big anger problem too. He got in the habit of kicking me, hitting me, slapping me. So he took several trips to the office where he proceeded to completely trash the office. His father, not unexpectedly, had had enough and said if he acted out one more time to call him at the first incident. It happened again, his dad came and got him, and said he wasn't sure if he would be back. I felt bad for Jerry. I didn't want things like that that happened at FKO to bring him more trouble at home. But his dad said that he does that to women in general, which was another scary development. All I can do is pray for the boy and hope he and his family find peace, and answers. Anyway, I left Tuesday bidding my co-workers a great Christmas and would see them in 2 weeks.

That same week, on Friday, was grocery shopping day. It was a little weird this time because mom had a doctor's appt. in the morning so I couldnt call her if I had questions about anything on the list. So I'm walking through the store and I get a call from her. She can barely speak, shes giddy as hell! She got on scales and could actually be weighed! Its the first time in a while. She had lost over 50 lbs. I was in the middle of H-E-B going OMG MOM OMG! THAT'S SOOO FANTASTIC I'M SOO PROUD OF YOU!! lol I got some looks but I didn't care. I couldn't have been more happier for her. I finish my shopping, and go home. Its getting on 10 in the morning and I get another call from mom. Its kind of a blur what happened next but I remember mom saying something to the effect of, "Ummm, I wont be coming home, I broke my leg!" I said.... WHAT!!! Apparently she was stepping off the curb at the doctor's office and broke her femur, right close to the hip. Thankfully, strangely, she felt no pain, just instant numbness. So I called my other boss and told her I couldn't make it to work (or course it seemed like I was putting her out.... like I planned it). I'll cut a few corners and say that mom spent up to 4 hours in the hall of the ER because the didn't have rooms, and then, when she was finally admitted, they took her to surgery, where they put a rod and 2 screws in her leg. So the next few days consisted of being up at the hospital, keeping her company, and trying not to let her sink into a black hole. I'm not a huge fan of hospitals in the first place, but there are a few exceptions where I couldn't care less where I am, as long as I am there for support and encouragement. Examples: Family members in the hospital, friends in the hospital. In other words, I don't hang out at hospitals for fun!! Now let me go off on a tangent here. With the exception of a few workers (I.E. the weekend staff, the PT, and the OT (which happened to be one of my old friends, Sarah, who's over-all demeanor brightened moms day and in return made me every so grateful)) the staff there SUCKED! I understand that all occupations have their fair share of gossip, but when you talk about it while her DAUGHTER IS IN THE HALL, you better watch the hell out. I have never been so close to going up to someone and just punching them in the face. Here I am, crying because I'm thinking my mom isn't going to be home for Christmas, shes antsy and confined and trapped and frustrated and there's nothing I can do and you sit here and bitch and complain about your job! Ever heard of BED SIDE MANOR? I guess not! Mom got her survey for her stay at the hospital today and quickly took it away and said that she better not let me see that or I might take it upon myself to fill it out for her; which I soooo wish I could. ANWAY!!!! We had been hearing not to get our hopes up that mom would be home for Christmas, but she did!! Now, it was a question of how to get her home. At first she was going to take a van from Hendrick's to the house, but since she could walk (mind you very little, very slowly, and very poorly) from her bed to the bed side commode, her insurance wouldn't cover it. So Citylink it was. We thought she would get dropped off at the house, but apparently in order to have that privilege you had to apply 30 days in advance. So here is mom, by herself on this Citylink bus, having no clue where she is going. They ended up taking her back to the main station and she had to wait there for a bus to come that would make a stop close to the house. The people there were unfriendly as well. Long story short, mom ended up getting dropped off about 2-3 blocks from the house, and dad had to push her all the way home, across SOUTHWEST DRIVE! So this just added to my anger. Of course, anytime a family member is hurt or in a situation like that, you want everything done quickly and efficiently. Obviously it doesn't always work out like that. But I didn't care. So, we got her home and she's been here since Dec. 23rd! Thank god she made it home for Christmas. Diana got to come into town 2 days earlier then planned, and that was a god send too. I felt lost; where to go, when to go, don't cry in front of mom, keep your hopes up, stay strong, but I want to cry, Diana is being so strong I wish I could be like her, Dad is holding it together, crying wont help anything right now, I hope mom's going to be OK, Wow 50+ lbs. that's amazing I'm soo proud of her. My head was everywhere, and no where, for a while. It was soo nice being able to see Diana, though. It was such a nice visit and felt like it flew by! Diana and Josh got their families web cams so now we can keep in touch visually! Diana and I got to play with it a little while yesterday--- it was FUN FUN FUN!! Oh, let me say HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY, DIANA!! LOVE YOU!!

OK, so now onto a new, but conjoining subject. Since all of this happened with mom, we hit a snag in the Scott household. Mom was not allowed to put any weight on her leg except on her toes. So she needed 24- hour care. So what was going to happen when both Dad and I had to go back to work? We talked about it and talked about it and came to the only clear solution.... mom and her health are more important to me then working right now-- she needs me so I will be there for her. In all reality I felt lucky and blessed that I was even home and in a position to help out. The decision was made for me to quit both of my jobs and stay home to now be "on call" for mom! We were lucky and thankful that we had family who could provide help in several areas to make this happen. So then it was time to make the phone calls. My nanny job was first. I was terrified to make that call. What as she going to say, how would she act? In a nut shell, I told her what had happened and the decision I had made. I told her I know that it must be an inconvenience but my family comes first. I told her that I could get back to her by Sunday (I called on Friday) and let her know the final decision. And then, to add to my already high level of frustration and anger, she said, "Well if you could let me know, like, tomorrow that would be better because it is sort of an inconvenience." I have no reaction to write to that that would explain what I felt. All I can say is, obviously, I was making the right decision. I had to go over Saturday to pick up my Christmas gift and bonus, where my boss proceeded to tell me that she was thinking of just holding my job till I could come back. Her husband didn't understand why he had to be present for the conversation at all, which I thought was because he wouldn't have to fight me for his children's affection anymore so he wasn't all that upset, but nevertheless I was a little put off. My boss thought that I was quitting because I was worn out and had had enough. And while that is a reason, its not the reason at the current moment that I quit. I told her that it would have been May if not now. And she said May would have been better because she could get college kids to watch her kids easier then she could now. I really have nothing more to say on that subject, other then when Maddy found out I might be leaving she completely melted down..... so I didn't get to say goodbye to her, which completely broke my heart. But at the same time I thought maybe it was better that I didn't say goodbye. That way the last memory she has of me is a good memory and not a sad one.
Then I called Kathy, the FKO director. She was far more understanding, and said she would not accept my resignation, but would keep my job open in case I still needed some money until my new full-time job came through. I am very thankful for that. I think she is still holding out that I won't quit, but, unfortunately I already have pre-plans in the works of my next hopeful job. And while the perfect job in my head is one similar to THE OFFICE setting, i'll settle for something kind of quiet, with steady hours, decent pay, and benefits. So all prayers are welcome for my new beginning.
So that leads us to the current day. I feel we are still trying to work on a routine but we are getting there. Mom is able to get up more on her own and Im soo proud of how strong she is and how she is coping with her situation. Of course, she has her moments where she feels trapped and frustrated and all Dad and I can do is be there for a shoulder to cry and moral support. But mom is such a head strong women, I feel that her recovery will be a smooth one!
Let's see!!! Oh, the cats!! So of course their world was turned upside down when all of this happened to mom. They had to be locked up in my room more often then not and Alex was not having it. He started climbing my door and making god awful moaning sounds! Then, all of a sudden, I started to notice him positioning himself over Sophie, as if he was going to mount her. The thing is, his expression on his face looked as though he was completely confused as to why he was standing where he was. Sophie usually got up and walked away. But it was happening over and over again. All I could think was, "Wait, he cant feel those feeling anymore, he has no balls for the love of God!" Anyway, after some research and some awful thoughts of having to call a vet and ask if this was "normal" I found out that it was either because when he was fixed, both of the testicles had not dropped so there was still one there (OH GOD NO.. PLEASE NO) or he was craving attention. I went with the 2nd and proceeded to let them out more, especially at night, and smothered him with love and attention... to the great unhappiness of Sophie (I'm her pet, not his :) ) but he hasn't done it again since, thank god!

In few words, because I care not to talk about it much, apparently the Broncos like setting records that no one wants. Like being the first team to have lead their division the entire season, only to loose to a team that was last in their division at the beginning of the season. We were 3 games ahead........ SERIOUSLY!!?!?!? Then they fire Shanahan. I never thought Id see the day. Who knows what next year will be like. I'm thinking it was better we didn't make the play-offs. We obviously didn't deserve it. We needed to go into off-season and work things out, become better, hopefully.

OK so, hopefully I captured everything in this entry. Long, drawn out, long-winded, whatever you may think of it; all I can say is its detailed and relieving to talk about it and put it out there. Now the changes seem real and I am optimistic! So even though i was more then ready to see 2008 close, Here is to a brand new year, new beginnings, new life!