They Grow Up So Fast

So FKO finished up its school year on the 22nd of May. And though I thought I had prepared myself for this day, I ended up balling like a baby. Like I have said before, many of the kids I had this year I had had for 2 years, so I got to watch them grow up. Now, 3 of them were moving up to the next class and I just couldnt bear to let them go. Kate, Jacob, and Brooklyn will soon be Grasshoppers (Thats the 4-5yr. olds class) and won't be Dragonflies (my class) and so everytime i looked at them on that last day i kept tearing up. Needless to say it was a hectic day all around- it was Water Day so it was playing in kiddy pools and sprinklers-- but when it came time for nap time I didnt even care if they slept or laid down-- the 4 that stayed awake (Brooklyn, Jacob, Kate and Reagan) all moved their mats into a circle and talked and laughed. And of course seeing that made me cry to. And although I know that I will be getting new kids this summer-- there is still a selfish part of me that wishs and hopes those 3 will still run to me first thing when they get to school-- or come to me when they fall down or something-- and while I know that that really shouldnt happen because Shannon is their teacher now-- They will still be MY kiddos!!

(From Left to right: TOP: Kate, Brooklyn; BOTTOM: Jacob, Kylee, Reagan, and Madison)

On a similar note, Maddy, one of the girls I nanny for, just finished up her first year of school. I got to go pick her up on Friday and I felt like I was in a daze the entire time. It was soo hard for me to comprehend that I had been watching her and her sister for a full year already. They really do grow up way to fast. When I first started watching the girls they were quite timid around me. But funny enough, it only took them a couple weeks before it was, "April, lets play zoo! April, lets play Little People! April, can we play this, etc....."

As should be expected, the more I was with them the more they tested the boundaries as to what they could get away with. But I loved how when it came time to leave they never wanted me to, and always wanted to know when I was coming back. So Maddy started school in September and it became just Brooklyn and I most of the time. We got to grow closer and got into a routine, so when the rare occasion came that I watched both of them Brooklyn would wonder why she didnt get me all to herself. It was actually an adjustment for me as well. Brooklyn is very much the independent little girl, she usually played by herself and rarely asked me to play with her. But when her sister was home everything she did she wanted me involved!

(One of the things the girls love for me to do is take pictures of them with my cell phone. They actually posed for this picture and it took several tries because Maddy kept on saying she looked weird in them lol! Maddy also like to grab my cell phone and make her own movies of her running around going crazy and then sit back and watch them. Its out little thing!)

But as time went on this year Maddy started to grow up. Thats pretty much the only way I can describe it. She made it seem as though it wasn't as cool to have me over as it was when I first started. She always said she couldnt remember what she did in school that day and never really wanted to talk about it. So I started to re-learn my place with her and give her space accordingly. Then, the last week of school came, and everytime I was over there she came home and wanted to show me what she had done all year in school; she made me look at every piece of arts and crafts and made sure i didnt miss anything! I had gotten my Maddy back! So to sum up; between Brooklyn moving up a class and Maddy graduating Kindergarten-- I have been an emotional mess! I have grown attached-- and for a while I didnt think that was a good thing-- But i wouldnt have it any other way now! I was a little worried about this summer and finding enough to do with the girls to keep them occupied-- but i'm looking forward to it now! They are doing this summer kids movie thing at the Century theater (the nice theater in town) to where there is a different movie playing every Tuesday and we have tickets for all the showings so movies on Tuesdays will be my thing with the girls and i cant tell you how much I love that!! So I'll leave you with 2 pictures of the girls all grown up-- these are pictures of them after having watched them for a year-- the change is astounding! Till next time.... hooray for attachement!!

Sophie & Alex

Warning: Contains TONS of Pictures!!

So yesterday we introduced 2 new members into the Scott household, Sophie & Alex! Both of them are around 9 weeks old but Sophie appears to have been the runt of the litter-- weighing in at almost 2 1/2 pounds, where her brother is a hearty 4.8!! So I figured I would break this blog down into sections and go from there!!

Sophie:

Sophie was, and still sort of is, the shy one. She really is a tiny little thing and her brother has recognized his advantage over her. On the way home she didn't say a peep-- just hung out in the back and shook a little.

(Now we found these kittens a week ago and put a deposit down to make sure they were ours. This is Sophie when we first met her!)

Since Sophie is sooo small she has not been spayed or declawed yet. The people at the Taylor-Jones Humane Society said that ones she gets home and starts running around she will gain weight and hopefully within the next week she will have gained the weight needed to take care of all that. But...until then..... she is definitely enjoying her claws. Not only does she use them to climb up on my bed (which I can guarantee you she wont be able to do without the claws) but she also uses it as pretty much her only defense against her brother!!

The first day Sophie was here she was very very skiddish! If I took just one step toward her, she ran. And while I knew I had to give her time, I was becoming worried and sad because Winston and I had such an instant connection and I wanted that with Sophie. Oh, side note, while technically both cats belong to both mom and I, Sophie is "mine" and Alex is "mom's". She eventually warmed up to me around 8 or so last night. She came right out of my closet and almost rubbed the skin off of my leg. It was then that I knew we would make a fabulous team. The whole family has been keeping 2 sharp eyes on her to make sure she is eating and drinking (especially dad, he's been very concerned about Sophie drinking-- hes asked like 5 times already lol). We made sure that the first thing the kitties saw was the litter box, and Alex took right to it. But Sophie wanted nothing to do with it. So last night I left my door cracked enough for her to get out and then some-- but she decided to pee buckets on my bed instead-- while she sat there and looked right at me lol!! So I'm trying to watch her today and make sure she pees in the box. So following are some pictures of Miss Sophie!!

First Day:

This Morning:

As for Alex.... well I will leave his beginnings with us to my mom. So check her blog later for the story on him!

So what a week it has been and its only Wednesday! And on top of that-- this has to be a record that I posted 3 blogs in 1 month! Crazy!! Anyway, I'm going to get dressed and head to the vet before work! So I hope everyone has a great week!

What I was doing ten years ago:

At this very time 10 years ago I was about to finish up my first year of high school! OMG thats crazy! My sister was about to graduate, and while it was going to be weird not having her at school with me I was kind of excited to be out of her shadow and be the only person from the Scott family in that school! Diana was a very well liked student so it was intimidating to follow in her footsteps (LOVE YOU DIANA!)

5 Things on my To-Do List today:

1. Pick up things off my floor so my dad can spray my room
2. Go to my nanny job at 10:30
3. Come home and try to clear some tape
4. Go to my 2nd babysitting job at 6 till about 10:30
5. Clean Daniel's (my fishy) bowl

5 Places I have traveled:

1 .England (Dont know if I would consider that traveling-- I was born there)
2. Florida (Dont remember that one either-- but I dont go many places)
3. Hawaii (Dear God please let me go back someday)
4. Mexico (Ok it was an accident-- some friends and I crossed the border when we went to a barbeque place after a football game-- we were just walking and trying to scare each other but then we hear shouting in spanish and flashlights bouncing back and forth and we took off-- we weren't the only ones to have that adventure that night!)
5. Colorado

5 Snacks or Treats I enjoy:

1. Cheese Dip (mmmmmmm)
2. My new favorite chocolate cake with vanilla frosting
3. Mashed potatoes (major comfort food for me)
4. Hershey Kisses or Hugs
5. Mocha Carmel Cafe from Starbucks ( i didnt realize how much of a needed boost it gives me until I start to come down from the high lol)

What would I do if I were a Billionaire?

BILLS BILLS BILLS!! Those would be paid off for sure! Buy a car (Toyota preferably), Find a quaint little place to call my own, purchase 2-3 pets, pay back anybody I owe money to. As of right now thats all I can think of. Im a compulsive online shopper so who knows how long that money would last lol!

Places I've Lived:

1. Upper Hayford AFB, Upper Hayford, England
2. Eglin AFB (Niceville, FL) (Dont remember it but Diana swears that some of the memories I have are from there)
3. Dyess AFB (Abilene, TX)
4. S. 41st St. Abilene, TX
5. Arrowhead Dr. Abilene, TX
6. Willis St. Abilene, TX

Jobs I've had:

1. Concession stand worker at the theater in the Mall of Abilene (lasted a single day lol)
2. Contract Laborer for an asset management company
3. Babysitter, Babysitter, Babysitter/Nanny
4. Child care worker

5 People I'm Tagging:

The only people who I would tagged have already been tagged so I guess I will tag mom since I dont think she got that she was the random commentator!!

Impasse

I am at a fork in the road, a stalemate, and impasse. Lots of things are running through my head so my blog will be the place where it is released. Brace yourself!

Have you ever had one of those moments where you wish you could stand out in the middle of a street and just scream till you can’t anymore? I'm having a situation, and for the sake anonymity I will only tell the situation—and no names. For years I have kept my mouth shut about a certain situation; #1 because I feel it would be useless and lead to know where if it was brought up, and #2 because confrontation is as enjoyable to me as sitting through a Trigonometry class. And really I can’t blame anyone but myself for letting it go one because I haven’t had to guts to confront it. But that’s who I am. I reached the breaking point today and all of a sudden thought, “What the hell I should just say everything I'm thinking even though by doing so I could loose it all.” Would that really be so wrong if by doing it I may finally find me; find APRIL! I feel like I have sort of been a shell of me, going through the routines of this situation and at times questioning it all. There are times where I wish I could go back to a “convenient solitude.” Where I could go back to a place and time with the people of my choosing who are how they used to be when things were the best and just stay there. I realize that by having people there it wouldn’t really be solitude, but it’s the only way I think I could describe what I'm thinking.

Winston has been gone over a month now and I still see him running in the halls or feel his cold nose on my foot. It may sound completely silly but I really couldn’t care less at the moment. Its strange how something like the loss of a dearly loved pet (and I know its not a whole lot like loosing a relative or loved one) can make you take a step back and evaluate your life—who you are—who you wish you could be. There are a few things I realized. For one, I am 25 and living at home---- and I am truly HAPPY. I would love to know what is seriously so wrong with living at home, even at my age, if I am truly happy. What the hell does it matter? Could it be that I may not find a guy. Yes, I'm 25, yes I’ve never had a serious relationship, and yes there are times when I am lonely. But it’s meant to happen it will. I am not some poor woman all alone and sad. I AM HAPPY! If I needed the attention of a man so badly I could go out and become a whore. But that need has never there. It may be that I am meant to spend my life alone, and if that is what is planned for me then I will embrace it. But I guess I am just tired of feeling like I less accomplished, less of a person because I live with my parents and not on my own. I pay my own bills; I work 2 jobs, in no way do I slack off. If I felt for one minute that I was being a burden to my family by living with them you would bet that I would be out there looking for a 3rd or 4th job and trying to get out. I…. AM…… HAPPY! Do you know how longs its been since I could truly say that. Now while I am prone to have moments of puzzling situations as mentioned in the above paragraph, I would gladly take that and be happy then go back to have the awful temper I used to, and getting sick every month because of stress and pure ( and I mean straightforward, scary) rage.

I guess in a nut shell I just want everyone to quit worrying or concerning themselves about whether I am happy or doing the right thing and whether it’s best for me. And this is going out to absolutely no one in particular. I know that family and friends will want to look out for me; and I am blessed that care is present, but I just want to be ME, and have no questions or concerns about it. That may come off rude—and I am sorry for that—but I just need some support. I'm going to take control, and that’s a scary thing for me. But I have faith it can happen. I hope you can have faith in me too. But I have to do it my way—or I will fail before I can even begin.

I have started my journey by getting this off my chest. Good luck to all of you—just be who you are—I don’t feel you can ever be ashamed of yourself if you’re honest with who you are. You may not like it—but at least you’re not lying to yourself. Honesty is a hard thing—it takes courage. That will be a stop on my journey.

Anyway, I think I'm about done. Sorry for randomness. But it feels good to get it out.

Until next time!!

*April*

In Memory of Sir Winston

About 10 years ago my family was still living in apts. And my mom and I had hinted to my dad and sister that we wanted a cat. Of course we never thought it would actually happen but it was wishful thinking. But the Christmas of 1998 my dad and sister surprised my mom and I with the money to go buy a cat. Out first stop was the Humane Society. We both had in our heads that we were looking for a little kitten. I walked to the back—and a furry little gray tabby caught my attention. He was a little older then we were looking for, and there was a smaller kitten there but hadn’t been fixed or declawed yet. We told them we would come back and decided to go to the pound to see what they had. I'm pretty sure we were only in there maybe 5-10 minutes. That place was soooo depressing it broke my hear to be in there. So we went back to the Humane Society, and Winston became the newest member of our family. I remember thinking that I was really going to have to get used to his name. And I was a little confused because we were told that Winston came to be at the Humane Society because a little old lady said he was too frisky. In the entire time we had Winston I only recall a handful of times where I would have defined him as frisky. But nonetheless he fit right into our family.
















In the beginning he was in an exploratory phase—always testing the boundaries and seeing just how high he could get. And though my mom always feels bad about it—she did think about possibly taking him back. The thing I remember most about this time was that my sister was in her first year of college so I never saw her a whole lot and we seemed to always be up and down. But when there was the possibility that Winston would be returned she supported me as we told mom that we just couldn’t let him go and to give it a little more time. As mom and I look back on it now—it wasn’t so much that we didn’t want him or didn’t think we could handle him, it was more of the fact that we weren’t prepared for a kitten. So we used scotch tape to tape off shelves he wasn’t allowed on and had to watch the kitchen counters for stray tufts of fur!!



Winston had his favorite spots in the apt.: on top of the couch, under the recliner (we always had to watch that because he would sneak under there and then we would close it and hours later go looking for him!), on top of the bookshelves (at this height he felt invincible and would bat our head with his paws), and laundry baskets. So life continued as though we had had Winston forever!


Winston wasn’t always a huge player. We had a toy that we would use that he would chase and he would do that but other then that he found his own things to call toys. I liked to put scraps of fabric on him to make him look like he was SUPER CAT! And Josh, my brother in law (or was it my sister? Cant remember) tied a balloon to his tail and he FREAKED OUT on that one! But he would mostly just lay around and perfect the lazy cat stereotype.

Eventually we moved into a house. It was a traumatic time for him.. he hid behind the toilet in the bathroom even though I was in there keeping him company. He never felt the same about that bathroom again. But he eventually came around and became the leader, nay THE RULER of this house. You may wonder, “Did you mind that you always catered to him… that he ruled the roost?” Of course not, because even though he depended on mom and I for food and cleaning of certain waste disposal areas and demanded attention on his time…. I always knew that if I was sad or sick that he would come running in my room and stay with me whether I wanted him to or not. Soon certain schedules were formed, and habits arose. He would always be waiting for me either in the hallway by my door or in the entryway of the kitchen when I got home. I never knew how he knew I was home ( I guess its that super cat hearing, but then again mom said he would be there like ½ hour before I got home). He nearly always read the paper with mom in the morning—well mom read the paper he laid on it and demanded her petting, Noon was lunch time and he would let us know if we were late—and these things continued for a majority of his life.

In the part few years certain changes came—Winston’s asthma seemed to increase, he got really dry skin so he started to pull his hair out everywhere (which increased his baths which he was never too fond of), he would take little bites at mom, etc. But we figured he was stressed for some reason or another and that the dry weather was wreaking havoc on his skin. But regardless of these changes he was still Winston.

Winston had a great sense about people. If I brought a person to the house and Winston didn’t like them… that person actually ended up being not such a great person. I always felt like he was looking out for me.

So onto the most recent events. I guess about a month ago I noticed weird things with Winston. He followed me around everywhere—I mean into the bathroom when I took a shower—everywhere. He was more clingy then usual. But I liked that he wanted my attention. Then, about 2 weeks ago mom and I started noticing that he wasn’t eating much. He used to inhale his wet cat food at lunch time but he was now leaving at least half on the plate. He wasn’t eating his dry cat food—even the dental diet balls which he would always eat above everything else. So we changed wet cat food and we changed dry cat food and he seemed to adapt well to that and things went back to normal. Or so we thought. We then started noticing that he was loosing weight. I was only recently that the vet told us that Winston was a big boned cat—he had a large frame—so he wasn’t necessarily fat just “big boned.” But we could feel every vertebra in his spine, every bone in his pelvis. Something was obviously up. So we made an appointment at the vet. Little side note—at this time Winston now never ever left either my side or my moms side—he slept with us and didn’t paw to get out of the rooms—and he seemed to favor the top of one of the cabinets in my mom’s room.

We took him vet on Monday and he was none to happy. The vet looked at him and said that he had lost weight (about 1 ½ lbs which felt like 10). She didn’t feel anything abnormal in his body so she took some blood for a full blood panel. The vet said that we probably wouldn’t find out until the next morning. So it became a waiting game….. but neither mom nor I would voice the gut feeling we had. So the Tuesday I left for work at 8:45 sort of pissed off because I was hoping we would hear from the vet before I left. I got to work and was distracted obviously. I had my cell phone close by and was waiting for the call. My boss, Brenda, who is also my best friends mom, came into the room and told me that my mom was on the phone, she had called the church I worked at instead of my cell. After that it is kid of fuzzy. She told me that everything on his blood panel came up critical and that it wasn’t good and I needed to come home. I sobbed uncontrollably the whole way home.. repeating NO NO NO NO. I came home and went straight to Winston. I just cried—that’s all I knew to do. I felt like he was looking at me like “Whats wrong?” He didn’t look in pain—he just looked tired. I stayed with him for the rest of the time. Mom called Diana and Dad and told them what was going on. The vet said that he didn’t even know how Winston was still walking—he should have been comatose. Diana and Dad both said that he was still being so strong because of Mom and I. I didn’t know if that made me feel better or worse. I love how he was fighting so hard to be strong for us but I also hated that he was putting himself in pain to be strong for us. The time came to take him for his last ride. And thinking about it makes me cry—its like he knew. He had been soooo quiet all day and when he got in the car he wouldn’t stop meowing—it made it so hard and I felt so bad. We got to the vets and went to the back and placed him on this cold metal table. The vet came and talked to us. To me he was cold and insincere. I could never be a vet because I would become attached to the animals. He really needed to work on his bedside manner. Final diagnosis seemed to be kidney cancer but that would be positive unless and autopsy was performed and well that just wasn’t happening. He shaves his arm and told us we would probably have to hold him down.. but Winston just layed down and became quiet. The vet administered the drug and Winston shrunk down. Of course mom and I were a mess. The vet didn’t warn us that Winston would have to expel the air out of his lungs. So he sort of gasped twice after we already thought he was gone. That made everything worse. We brought him back home and buried him by the Easter lilies that are growing back there. Dad asked us when we got home if it happened at 2:45? We couldn’t really remember but we knew it was sometime around there. He said that he was out back digging the grave and at 2:45 his heart started to race and he had to stop what he was doing.. he had a weird feeling. How weird is that. So we paid our respects and cried some more. That was 2 days ago.

I go out each morning and talk to him—just to keep him up to date on how the family is doing. I feel like it will help me get closure eventually. Mom and I still have our moments where we just cry. I still expect to see him waiting for me when I get home, and come bounding into the room and onto the bed when mom and I are chatting at night. Mom hasn’t been able to read the paper at the table because shes just not ready—and lunch times are hard for her because that was always a thing with her and Winston. So little by little we try to piece our lives back together. All of us, Mom, Dad, and I have noticed a serious drop in energy. We are tired all the time. This death has brought my family closer—and though I love that it has done that—I wish it was under different circumstances. So to all of you who got to meet Winston and see how special he was—he is now in a better place and I cant wait to see him again. I will always love my baby boy.

(This is the last picture taken of Sir Winston-- he will always be the most handsome cat)

The Weird Weather Blues

So I haven't written in a while! What can I say, I told you i wasn't a huge blogger!! Unfortunately i don't have much to report. My life has become monotonous. Same thing pretty much all the time! But there were a few quirks here and there so I will share!

We have been having the weirdest weather here in Abilene. Snow, Rain, Hail, 80+ degree weather. The question is always: What will we get today?

Kristen and I started to Dinner Wednesdays where we would take turns making dinner (preferably a recipe neither of us had had before). I had ravioli for the first time yesterday and it was sooooo good. I think i might be hooked.

My flowers are starting to come up--- YEA!! I love when my flowers come back. They make me happy!

Winston has been acting strange lately. He used to be very independent and now he is attached to either my mom's or my hip. He sleeps with me every night (which is very out of character) and he doesn't finish his lunch (which is the only time he gets wet cat food). So i became concerned. Winston will be 10 in July (56 in human years), and i feel like he has many more years ahead of him. So I started to make adjustments for him, assuming that he was just starting to slow down . I moved his ottoman into my room so maybe he could sleep there and i could get my bed back. His lunch food has been cut in half so he will finish it (which ended up working.. thank god), and just giving him the attention he wants. I truly love that boy and it blows my mind that I was 15 (or 16) when we got him. It truly is the best gift i have received from my sister and father.

So onto the reason for the title of the blog. Unfortunately, i have been a melting pot of moods lately. Tired, jealous, frustrated, excited, optimistic, forlorn, pitiful... the list goes on. And while I'm really good at justifying why I am in these moods, most of them are usually just cases of self justification to make myself feel better for having rude and angry thoughts. I don't know if its the weather, or the fact that I feel my life is dull, but whatever it is I HATE FEELING LIKE IT! Just recently I have been able to admit fully to myself that I am dramatic and can be a brat-- things that if someone had called me last year I would have been soooo offended and angry, but you tell me that now and I would say "Yea, I agree." (Just don't rub it in :) ) But i felt better being able to be honest with myself of these things. It's just that I always seem to get in these slumps where all I do is feel sorry for myself and at times I want pity and other times i want people to be as miserable as me. That sounds awful just typing it. But anyway, I'm trying to find a way to put it away and think HAPPY THOUGHTS!! So yea.. if I have been a little lost during conversation to any of you, that is partially the reason why. Sorry, I'm working on it!

On a lighter note... I recently reconnected with one of my friends from college. The thing is, the minute I got into the car to go home after graduation from TSU i said that i was leaving everything attached to that place behind. That meant places, events, and people. I had to, i was soooooo angry while I was down there. The littlest things set me off. I cried alot and was overwhelmed and sick from stress all the time so I just wanted to make a clean break. I will admit it was a purely selfish gesture-- but I had to make "me" right, you know! At the same time i didn't think about how the people who I actually got along with might feel when it seemed everything was fine and then I totally cut them off. But I have explained this to my friend and its water under the bridge. And while I never thought i would venture back to S-Ville, it would appear I am at a place where I can put the negativity of that place behind me and have a good time with an old friend in a new environment. I think it will do me some good to get out of Abilene for a day or so and break the monotony. So I'm looking forward to catching up and seeing my old stomping grounds ( you know that phrase always confused me... I never stomped all over the place there-- why Stomping? OK random, whatever!)

So anyway, here's to a better weekend then my week went. I just keep telling myself--- THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE WHO HAVE IT SO MUCH WORSE, QUIT FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF! I hope that works lol!

The Unexpected Teacher

Well, it’s been a busy month. Watching these kids, and those kids; sleeping (if I can………..DAMN ALLERGIES); finding time to see my friends, and then just trying to find time to relax. I took my dad to the ER Friday morning. I was there for about 2 ½ hours during which I became familiarized with the latest Disney has to offer for little kids in the morning. He is alright, he has kidney stones so he is feeling the pain but luckily has some medicinal remedies to help him with that. The unsettling part is, while doing some research on kidney stones I found that #1: they are hereditary, and #2: If you have had one, you are likely to get one about every 5 years! CRAP!!!! So after reading that its lots of water (as suggested) and definitely watching chocolate (due to its high oxalate content) and everything else I eat—not so much salt, etc. I really don’t want to go through that again. So anyway, that has been the major hiccup this month, other then have a breakdown about the GRE but I kind of expected that to happen. Diana had called and I started talking to her about my worries and anxiety and when I hung up with her I just cried for about 30 minutes. But I got over it and went back to studying what I could, how I could and left it at that.

So onto the reason for the title of this blog. As many know I work at FKO here in Abilene. I am considered a teacher but never really thought of myself as one; I just considered myself a childcare provider; you know? Anyway, recently, certain events have made me realize that I am a teacher. I find that very very ironic. Like God is playing a game with me. My sister was always the teacher—when we were growing up she was Mrs. Scott (Lynn Scott at times) and I was always Marie Dowley (why that last name… I haven’t a clue) the student. So I wasn’t surprised when that’s what she ended up becoming; a teacher. When I got older, I wasn’t a huge fan of kids, mostly because the ones I came in contact with were usually brats and misbehaved so much I couldn’t see myself ever having one. Then the time came when I really was in desperate need of a job and what door opens? Well I taught a Sunday School Class for about 1 year. While I taught that SS class I was approached about being a floater for FKO and just coming when someone was out. And long story short… I am now a full time teacher who, in the whole time I have been there which is about 1 ½ years I have only missed teaching 1 day (when I had strep throat). And though, like anyone else, I come home and complain about how tired I was chasing 4-6 kids around, I still haven’t gotten tired of it (that is not to say I don’t relish my vacations :) ).

So my room is connected to another room where the 4-5 year old teacher Shannon works. We have different teaching styles. She is very earthy and calm and everyone’s friend. Which I guess it’s a good thing to have someone to even me out, since our classes combine most of the time. I, on the other hand, am a gentle person with a firm hand. I believe when it is circle time that we sit in a circle and do our best to pay attention (for as long as they can) and try to learn. I believe that nap time doesn’t necessarily mean you have to nap, but it is quiet time and we need to try and lay still. Lunch time, of course, is for conversing with your friends, but we eat sitting down, we learn please and thank you. Now i'm not saying that the other teacher is exact opposite of this, this is just what I believe when I teach. So during circle time we review Letters, Colors and Number. I do 1-10 on numbers, and 10 letters at a time (10 a month then I will combine them all). I’ve been doing this since September but just recently only started doing 10 at a time (I was loosing their focus to easily). Anyway, so I did this all through January and wasn’t seeing the results I thought I would, which made me question if I was really teaching my kids anything or if I needed to re-evaluate the way I taught. So on the 31st I decided to mix up the cards... not go in order... and see how my kids did. Well……. They did great. They knew them and when I was surprised and told them how proud I was I got the classic eye roll from Kate (I always thought she was too young to already have the eye roll down but its funny none the less) and the rest smiled real big and said WE’RE SILLY!!
Another example: At the beginning of the school year we did a torn paper collage of a color (can’t remember which). My kids couldn’t grasp the concept at all. And, of course, not being a certified teacher and knowing what the level of knowledge these kids are supposed to know at this age, I was concerned that they didn’t know how to tear paper and put it on glue. Well last Thursday we tried this again, with yellow construction paper and the Letter Y. It was like they’ve known how to do this since birth. No problems at all, and they had so much fun doing it. They filled up the Y like it was nothing and then asked to go play. It was just such an achievement. My heart was full!

Another thing that has made me proud lately is that I have been getting compliments on my kids’ behavior. I have the other teachers coming by during nap time saying, “They are so quiet. They are being so good!” And I would say, “I know, they know its nap time so they are being real good!” Almost every day I get those compliments. Shannon’s kids, on the other hand, are a bit rowdy. Now I let my kids have their spirals and crayons and they can color during nap time, but Shannon lets them get up and down for books, or to read with each other. So again i'm not saying this is awful at all, but then it gets rowdy when they do this. It’s weird when I have my kids coming up to me saying, “They are being loud, Teacher April. They aren’t supposed to be doing that, right?” And I would say, “Well Teacher Shannon teaches her class one way and I teach another!” Then they would say, “Well, it’s too loud!” Gives me a smile every time!! They go sit back down and shake their heads at the door joining our rooms.

So to sum up… I feel like I am actually impacting these kids lives, which is a good feeling because really, up until recently, I didn’t think that this sort of job would ever be cut out for me. But I love it, and though I’m trying to go back to school to get my Masters, I will try my hardest to make school and this job work, because I love my kids and don't want to leave them.

That’s it for now……………………….GO GIANTS!!!!!! Have a great month and I’ll write again when another epiphany occurs!! :)

(My regulars, from left to right: Jacob, Brooklyn, Reagan, and Kate)