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Thursday, March 13, 2008

The Weird Weather Blues

So I haven't written in a while! What can I say, I told you i wasn't a huge blogger!! Unfortunately i don't have much to report. My life has become monotonous. Same thing pretty much all the time! But there were a few quirks here and there so I will share!

We have been having the weirdest weather here in Abilene. Snow, Rain, Hail, 80+ degree weather. The question is always: What will we get today?

Kristen and I started to Dinner Wednesdays where we would take turns making dinner (preferably a recipe neither of us had had before). I had ravioli for the first time yesterday and it was sooooo good. I think i might be hooked.

My flowers are starting to come up--- YEA!! I love when my flowers come back. They make me happy!

Winston has been acting strange lately. He used to be very independent and now he is attached to either my mom's or my hip. He sleeps with me every night (which is very out of character) and he doesn't finish his lunch (which is the only time he gets wet cat food). So i became concerned. Winston will be 10 in July (56 in human years), and i feel like he has many more years ahead of him. So I started to make adjustments for him, assuming that he was just starting to slow down . I moved his ottoman into my room so maybe he could sleep there and i could get my bed back. His lunch food has been cut in half so he will finish it (which ended up working.. thank god), and just giving him the attention he wants. I truly love that boy and it blows my mind that I was 15 (or 16) when we got him. It truly is the best gift i have received from my sister and father.

So onto the reason for the title of the blog. Unfortunately, i have been a melting pot of moods lately. Tired, jealous, frustrated, excited, optimistic, forlorn, pitiful... the list goes on. And while I'm really good at justifying why I am in these moods, most of them are usually just cases of self justification to make myself feel better for having rude and angry thoughts. I don't know if its the weather, or the fact that I feel my life is dull, but whatever it is I HATE FEELING LIKE IT! Just recently I have been able to admit fully to myself that I am dramatic and can be a brat-- things that if someone had called me last year I would have been soooo offended and angry, but you tell me that now and I would say "Yea, I agree." (Just don't rub it in :) ) But i felt better being able to be honest with myself of these things. It's just that I always seem to get in these slumps where all I do is feel sorry for myself and at times I want pity and other times i want people to be as miserable as me. That sounds awful just typing it. But anyway, I'm trying to find a way to put it away and think HAPPY THOUGHTS!! So yea.. if I have been a little lost during conversation to any of you, that is partially the reason why. Sorry, I'm working on it!

On a lighter note... I recently reconnected with one of my friends from college. The thing is, the minute I got into the car to go home after graduation from TSU i said that i was leaving everything attached to that place behind. That meant places, events, and people. I had to, i was soooooo angry while I was down there. The littlest things set me off. I cried alot and was overwhelmed and sick from stress all the time so I just wanted to make a clean break. I will admit it was a purely selfish gesture-- but I had to make "me" right, you know! At the same time i didn't think about how the people who I actually got along with might feel when it seemed everything was fine and then I totally cut them off. But I have explained this to my friend and its water under the bridge. And while I never thought i would venture back to S-Ville, it would appear I am at a place where I can put the negativity of that place behind me and have a good time with an old friend in a new environment. I think it will do me some good to get out of Abilene for a day or so and break the monotony. So I'm looking forward to catching up and seeing my old stomping grounds ( you know that phrase always confused me... I never stomped all over the place there-- why Stomping? OK random, whatever!)

So anyway, here's to a better weekend then my week went. I just keep telling myself--- THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE WHO HAVE IT SO MUCH WORSE, QUIT FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF! I hope that works lol!